marubio52

09:55 am: That seals it.
After years of avoiding the drama that comes with being Mexican, my mission has failed.

My life has turned into a telenovela.

I figure that's the way it has to go down...

...drama follows us like a sick dog searching for a home.

Five years ago I entered into a very serious relationship. We were very passionate about everything...love, life, sex, and at the end, fights.

She was the first woman I really loved, and she loved me back...

We were very good together for about a year...then things got complicated...

We ended on a horrible note, and it threw me into a funk for a while.

I'd moved on...

And she texted me this week...and I met with her this week...

...And it's gonna be bad.

09:30 pm: I lose
Moving on now...

09:06 am: I went back.
An age ago I had a three story house at my disposal. It had a huge yard, and lots of love within its walls. It had my favorite people, and my favorite memories.

An age has passed and I hadn't been back.

For closure's sake, I had to open a wound.

For sanity's sake, I had to risk my mental well-being.

For my future, I had to peer into my past.

The people in my car helped.

I can't thank them enough for it.

03:17 pm: You know that feeling
where you're caught in the middle of a decision.

You hesitate...and then you know if you wait anymore you're fucked?

I'm thinking about striking while the iron's hot...but...

02:49 pm: Pressure
I love pressure.

There's nothing like a gun planted on the back of your head, forcing you to make split second decisions that have a great effect on your future.

Yesterday I got a call from the Chi Trib, telling me that I hade 30 minutes to shoot an assignment, do post, and get it out.

I jumped at it.

I love it, I really love it, and I don't know what'd I'd do without it.

Back in the day I hated pressure, up until I came up large in a situation.

Now I can't get enough of it.

11:26 pm: Swing
I can't really believe it.

But it might just happen...

...I'm nervous.

07:14 pm: Holy...
Shit I'm about to get PAID son...

I forgot that I worked that much this month...and this check will be large...

I guess it all worked out in the end.

On another note...

...I sleep again...I forgot how wonderful dreams are...

07:37 pm: This weekend saved me.
"Hello Mauricio?"
Trib...awesome...
"This is Mauricio."
That sounded stupid as fuck.
"Hey, we were wondering if you could knock out some stuff for us."
No.
"Sure!"
fuck.
"Ok, I'll be sending some stuff your way."
I am fucked.
"Cool, thanks!"
Really...fucked...
"Thank you."
...fuck...

I wasn't so sure about myself until this weekend.

I was having a serious bout with self doubt, my confidence was shot, I couldn't sleep, the pressure of freelancing for a nationally distributed paper was getting to my ass...I've never been so nervous about work.

Then someone cheered me up.

I never open up about my personal problems to anybody.

But I did.

and I feel fine.

Today was a glorious day indeed.

12:14 pm: Time
I have none.

12:07 pm: Why I love Chicago


Canon 10D
Series of 5 Photographs stitched together in Photoshop.
16-35 @ F/11, 1/800 sec.

Taken atop a parking garage @ Ashland and Harrison.

04:58 pm: Oh Shit...
I'm fighting a feeling...

...from way deep...

...it's screaming from the depths of my dormant heart...yelling at me...

...I don't want to listen to it right now...

...but I do...

...No se si me amas, perro...

...Mi corazon dice que yo te amo...

02:11 pm: It's pretty serious right now...
I've picked up 6 assignments from the trib so far...and I just got another 2 for Saturday...

...I'm starting to think the unthinkable...they might like me...

...I still can't believe it...I'm in a nationally syndicated Newspaper...

My life is amazing right now...

I think it's about to get better too...

I dunno, the Cub fan in me tells me to hold any potential success close to heart, but the problem is that my heart is the one that's dreaming...

Who knows what this year will bring.

All that I know for sure is that I will be prepared for it.

12:09 am: Published!
So it happened, I was published in the Chicago Tribune for the first time two days ago...It was in the Tempo section...

It's hard to describe what I feel right now...

...I mean being in the Trib is awesome...

...but there is something missing...and it bothers me...

I'm usually a happy dood, I walk through life carefree and without any real worries.

There is a roof over my head, I have work, I'm getting paid...

...but there's an ingredient that isn't there...

fuck it, I'm published right!

I mean, get excited!

Right!?!?

...right...

11:20 pm: Ahoy hoy
I always fail at these things.

I always say that this time will be different, this time I'll follow through with this and actually have a blog!

And yet, in the end, I always fail.

I hope it's different now.

Basics?

I'm a 21 year old senior photo major at Columbia College Chicago.

I can't wait to be done.

I was raised in the southwest side of Chicago, my summers were spent running through open fire hydrants in the summer and shoveling snow in the winter.

Mi Familia moved from there essentially for me to a suburb called Cicero. I attended Catholic grade school, and High School before my situation changed.

We left behind my Grandparents in Little Village, which had drastically changed in six years.

My grandfather was a chronic smoker and eventually he contracted lung cancer.

He was the strongest man I knew, but his degradation was painful to watch as my whole family saw him wither away.

His death was a shock, and it created a rift in the family, with one of my uncles disconnecting from us.

The family hasn't been the same since.

Now I live at home with my parents and my grandma...

I have aspirations to become a photojournalist, following in the large footprints of my Pulitzer-Prize winning uncle.

I currently am free-lancing with the Chicago Tribune.

Hopefully, this blog will go longer than all the other ones I've tried.